You know what one of the biggest differences between humans and animals are? What sets them apart from each other?
The ability to choose for one’s own self and the ability to express one’s self is one of the greatest gifts that our creator gave to us. To choose if we want to take a ride on a car or walk, to choose when we want to sleep or eat, to show the world when we are happy, sad, angry, depressed or excited — that is what separates us from other living things who are only capable of doing what their instincts tell them to do.
It’s one of the precious gifts that most of us take for granted.
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you were incapable of expressing yourself or choosing something for yourself? That feeling would be like living in a prison but only a thousand times over in intensity.
There are times, however, when I am unable to express my own feelings. Letting these feelings lock themselves up inside of me is something that happens from time to time. There are also times when I am unable to make a decision for myself.
I remember the times when I have to seal my lips. That I had to stop myself from voicing out my own thoughts about some matter or another for fear of being laughed at or made fun of.
They say that even one small cry is worth it. That one voice can change the world or something like that. But I guess that’s what idealists believe and maybe I am sort of like that… a little bit.
This world we live in now is full of wrong doings, full of things that we should voice out to stop. Things we were asked to do but do not have any choice but to follow… those things are most often than not asked by our superiors. I’ve felt that too. Although, I am still a student the college I am attending is very much like a large office, you see. So, I kind of understand that.
You know those signature campaigns that asks you to sign if you support something? Well, our school likes to do that, passing a signature campaign to support someone but, we aren’t really given an option to sign or not to since if you want to be able to get your grades you have to sign it. The person that that signature campaign is for is someone whom I decide to remain anonymous in this post, after all, who knows who can read this and if I’ll get in BIG trouble with my school if they manage to read this and see that name. Anyways, this may be small to others, but I’d like to think of it as a big thing since that campaign was to voice out your support and I am the type of person who supports someone if that someone shows proof of being a good leader, a good person, and a good human being and I am the type of person who, once I give my support, I’ll continue on giving it. Call it some sort of ‘way of life’ or something, but that’s just how I am. So, when we were forced to sign, I wanted to act out of my conscience and my choice, but unfortunately, they stole that from us at that time and I couldn’t even voice out how I hated it.
That’s not the only time too.
You know how some grown-ups (people who are older than you) tell you something that is against your principles and beliefs. They end up forcing you to do something that they want and although at times they do know what’s best for you, there are times however when they just don’t understand even if you try to explain it to them. I had once tried to explain to some grown-ups how their actions are somehow wrong but in the end, they got mad at me and even questioned my right to say those things to them despite me talking to them politely. They would go on talking like they know everything and have no right to correct them — something I believe isn’t fair at all… everyone should be able to admit their mistakes: young and old. In the end, I would be forced to do these things either because I don’t want them to think that I am poorly raised or not a good person or because of what they expect of me. Sometimes I feel like telling them that big words alone do not make an adult.
It’s hard having people expect something of you that you sometimes end up as a puppet to those expectations. As the eldest of three siblings, I feel that most of the time. I’m not really one to compete against my siblings since we all have our own strengths and we are all different however, there are times when I am being compared to them and I have no choice but to just shut up and keep on going. It is good that I can do that but at the same time it’s hard. Expectations shouldn’t make us feel like this. It should help us become better. Idealistic thoughts, I know.
There are a lot more other situations when I fail to speak up either because I am scared of doing so or because I simply can’t. I am trying though… to become stronger as a person and to become more confident than I was yesterday. I am trying to surpass my fears and to build up my self esteem so that I can speak up without worrying about what others may think of me.
I’ve learned that it isn’t what others view you which is important but how you view yourself. If you can’t choose or speak up for yourself, who will? I know that sometimes we don’t have a choice and we’re being forced but I guess, I end up believing that, as long as you do not let your own beliefs wane and die out, as long as you know in your heart what is right or wrong and what is worth believing in… you’ll still retain who you are as a person — your individuality. We’re not dogs after all, we have to speak up.
Someone once questioned if choosing one thing affects another. I believe it to be so. Our free will is a gift that is given to us to use. Our emotions are given to us to be able to express ourselves. They are gifts that we have to use to fulfill our own destinies (not the kind you find on fortune cookies, or things like that, mind you) and to help us be unique. All we need to do is to have courage to express ourselves. After all, like I always say: “Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality.”