Confused…

I really feel angry and aggrevated right now. Mixed with those emotions is also the feeling of confusion. I guess you can say that hearing one story managed to change the whole day for me despite me not knowing personally the people involved with the story. I guess, when it comes to these things, I really am a sensitive person deep (deep, deep, yep, very deep down) inside.

I just heard a couple of hours ago about an event that happened somewhere in the small ‘town’ we live in. A person was killed because of some gang war or something. This person was a friend of my sister and, according to her, it was a great loss as this person is very kind and smart and that this person’s beauty not only shows physically but also flows from her actions. I don’t really know who she is nor do I know when this happened… yes, I admit that I am not into hearing news (much less gossip)…that’s just who I am.

What makes me angry is how people could go about disrupting peace and putting lives of innocent people in danger. What makes me feel confused is how these people could go about with their normal lives after killing someone or attempting to kill someone without feeling guilty of their actions. What aggrevates me the most is why the government and its branches are not doing enough to secure their people — the people they have sworn to serve.

I know that some people would say that it is not the government’s fault but the fault of those who raised these people who commit crimes and even the circumstances of how they were raised and where they were raised.  However, just because they were raised incorrectly or irresponisbly by their parents or just because poverty and the harsh reality of life is abound does not mean that the government does not have a part in the twisted reality that we currently are living in.

I once believed that there was no such thing as “absolute good” or “absolute evil”. That what people percieved as “good” or “evil” are dependent on their different stand points, dependent on each person’s point of view.  No matter how hard I try to deny that, part of me still believes in it. Part of me still believes that we have to understand the other party and not just charge in and blast away, keeping the wheel to continue on its cycle.

However, another part, a more dominant part of my idealistic-self believes, at this moment, that no matter what people say, there is only black or white. There’s only good or evil. There’s only right and wrong. That part of me, that, whether because of the emotions burning inside me at this very moment is pushing me to think or because that’s what I really believe, tells me that you can’t choose to be in-between. You can’t choose not choosing as an option because ultimately it will be either of the two and not both.

The end does not justify the means. Making up a reason, flavoring it up and hiding it in the guise of something good — that’s what’s common now-a-days. Everyone believes that the point that they are defending is the only right point of view. Me. You. All of us are doing it, whether we want to admit it or not.

I’m really angry at these people who think that their lives are the only ones that are important so much so that they are willing to trample on other people, hurt other people, and kill people just to have what they want that, most often than not, are usually pathetic, self-indulgent, and useless things.

Those part of those gang wars… I don’t understand why they would choose to hurt people. What are they fighting for? Is it something worthwhile? Is it something more important than life? Why can’t they just fight amongst themselves without putting the innocent in danger? The same goes for the terrorists and the government armies, who are, in people’s eyes, becomming terrorists as well — as they are bringing fear rather than comfort to the hearts of the innocent whom they misjudge and end up killing.

So much blood. So much hatred. So much anger. What’s happening to our world? Where is the peace and security that once was here? Where are the morals and values that the heroes of old tried their best to preserve — that our ancestry tried its best to preserve amidst the torrents of foreigners that have once claimed this land as their own?

Someone once said, “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”.
I used that phrase on the game that I am currently developing, and went even further saying (and I quote): “A gun, by itself, is just an object. It can’t hurt anyone just sitting there at the corner. A gun, had no choice on what it is meant to be used for. But alone, it holds no evil bearings. A gun can protect just as much as it can destroy. What determines whether a ‘tool’ is good or evil, is not the tool itself but the one who uses the tool. Therefore, if one were to follow that flow of thought, it would be easy to deduce that objects do not posses qualities of good or evil but only humans do. That is why, I believe, that what we do with the weapons we have and the power we posses determines whether we are good or evil, it is not the other way around.” (Ryuki Reiard, Endlessian Chronicles: Dawn of Darkness)

A lot of people blame those who made those weapons as the cause of all the evil in the world. However, I like to believe otherwise. I don’t want to think that Albert Einstein pave open the doors to nuclear energy just for the sole purpose of creating weapons of mass destruction. I don’t want to believe that he was willing to use the knowledge that he was given to create something that would ultimately hurt a lot of people. I don’t think anyone could bear such responsibility or such guilt knowing that what they have created is something evil.

Nuclear energy is not in itself evil. It is how it is used by humans that make it evil.

If there is evil in this world, it exists in the hearts of men.

Our world today is so full of it. Full of people with evil hearts. Full of people who are willing to cheat and decieve others to gain what they want. Full of people who are not willing to work hard but rather steal other people’s hard work. Full of people who trample on other people’s dreams and belittle other people’s ambitions.

With everything that’s going on, I can’t help but remember a song sung by a Christian group who calls themselves, “Avalon”, and this would be my closing remark. A particular line in the song goes as follows: Take a look around, the world is falling down. Why can’t we see that it’s almost over? The sky is rolling in. He’s gonna break the sky, the dead are gonna rise. All who are alive in him will fly. Will fly.

There is nothing more that I enjoy doing than reading books and writing. I'm kind of a nerd like that, XD. I have been writing for 7 years and am the author of the YA novel "Winged: The Awakening" and "Winged: The Unraveling". Also, a YouTuber dealing with video games and gaming.

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