The “Rules” Of A Gentleman

This is sort of a “companion post” to my Rules of A Lady post.

So, what is a “Gentleman”.  A gentleman, by definition, is a man of good family, breeding, or social position.  He is a civilized, educated, sensitive and well-mannered man.  And, let’s face it, nowadays, those are pretty rare.  I mean, how many men out there are actually willing to give their seat to a lady–young or old–without expecting anything in return?  How many men out there are willing to hold a door open for a woman, regardless of age or whether she is beautiful and sexy or not?

Well, these are a list of rules as to what a gentleman should be.  Note that I did not make these up, merely compiled them from various sources.  If you have anything to add to these, feel free to comment.  As an addendum, most of these “rules” are not really rules but are just a way of saying that guys should make girls feel special, though I do not agree that some (maybe even most of these), when done means that a guys is a gentleman by definition.  Most of them are simply things that a guy would–should–probably do to his girlfriend.  Personally, I have my own set of “ideas” as to what a gentleman should be but since I am following the trend that I did with the Rules of a Lady post, I decided to just go ahead and post these and leave my own thoughts out of it.

Those I actually agree with, however, are marked (bolded).  So, yeah…

 Note: If you find any duplicates, please let me know so I can fix it.  Thanks!

Rules of A Gentleman:

  1. Run with her on the beach.
  2. Give her your sweater when she’s cold.
  3. Never talk about other girls in front of her.
  4. Learn to play the guitar for her.
  5. Comfort her when she’s scared.
  6. Watch the sunset with her.
  7. If she can’t sleep read her a bedtime story.
  8. If you get in a fight with her and she starts crying, just stop and hold her.
  9. Never force her to do anything.
  10. Call her beautiful especially when she least expects it.
  11. Never let her walk home alone.
  12. Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.
  13. Always make the first move.
  14. Never lie to her, she’ll find out.
  15. Kiss her when she’s sleeping.
  16. Sing to her no matter how terrible your voice is.
  17. When she’s fighting with someone, defend her even when you don’t think she’s right.
  18. Accept her for who she is.
  19. Call her beautiful instead of hot or sexy.
  20. Don’t let go first during a hug.
  21. Tell her if she has something in her hair.
  22. Tell her you love her before she sleeps every night.
  23. Never go through her messages.
  24. Making her look bad in front of your friends will make you look bad, too.
  25. Always have her back.
  26. Kiss her in the rain.
  27. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
  28. Stay on the call with her even if she fell asleep.
  29. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
  30. Give her piggyback rides.
  31. Call her babe.
  32. Apologize when you’re wrong.
  33. Always open the door for her.
  34. Boobs or butts doesn’t matter.
  35. Notice the little things.
  36. Give her flowers.
  37. Good hygiene is a must.
  38. Be confident.
  39. Don’t swear.
  40. Carry things for her.
  41. Always be the stronger one.
  42. Pay for dinner.
  43. Hold her chair.
  44. Be a good listener.
  45. Don’t brag.
  46. Compliment her.
  47. Don’t use her.
  48. Respect her.
  49. Perform random acts of kindness.
  50. Never take her for granted.
  51. Give her breakfast in bed.
  52. Hang out with her friends too, not just yours.
  53. Do whatever it takes to make her happy.
  54. She’s more important than videogames.
  55. If she slaps you, you probably deserved it.
  56. She should have three things from you: your sweatshirt, a stuffed animal, and a really pretty ring.
  57. Never slap her, even if it’s just in a joking way.
  58. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
  59. Forget her birthday once and you’re screwed.
  60. Hug her from the back.
  61. Never insult her, even if you’re joking around.
  62. Don’t make a promise if you’re gonna break it.
  63. Never miss a date.
  64. Try your best to get her something on your vacation.
  65. Wear that knitted sweater that she made for you.
  66. Never ask her to buy you things.
  67. If you love her, show her, not your friends.
  68. Don’t get upset if she wants to watch chick flicks.
  69. When she’s sick, don’t neglect her.
  70. Reply her texts.
  71. Never ask a girl out because of a dare.
  72. Never be late for a date.
  73. Unexpected surprises.
  74. When both of you are in a fight, take the blame even if she’s wrong.
  75. Listen to what she has to say.
  76. If you know she loves you, don’t play with her emotions and take advantage of it.
  77. When she refuses to talk to you because you did something to upset her, insist and make up for it.
  78. Make her feel like a princess.
  79. Shift to the dangerous side when crossing the street.
  80. When she drops something, stop whatever you’re doing to help her.
  81. Never let her down or blow her off.
  82. Treat her like your bestfriend.
  83. Kiss the back of her hand.
  84. Love her when she least deserves it–that’s when she needs it the most.
  85. Tell her your stories and feelings too.  She wants to hear them.  Promise.
  86. Don’t tell her lies just to spare her feelings, she’d rather know the truth now than finding out later.
  87. Yes, “I’m cold” is another way of saying “hug me”.
  88. Believe her and believe in her.
  89. Always listen to what she has to say.
  90. Good grammar is sexy.
  91. Look into her eyes.
  92. Let her head rest on your shoulder.
  93. Take the initiative and go and talk to her.
  94. Have pillow fights with her.
  95. Never talk bad behind her back.
  96. Never be a jerk to her in front of her friends.
  97. Never go to parties or hang out with other girls without her.
  98. Never make excuses.
  99. Don’t talk to her when you’re mad…you will screw something up.
  100. Don’t try to keep anything from her.
  101. Slip sweet notes in her locker…they will make her day.
  102. Never let a day pass without saying ‘I love you’ to her.
  103. Always protect her from any kind of harm.
  104. Never give her a reason to think that she’s the man in the relationship.
  105. Grand gestures.
  106. Kiss her under the stars.
  107. Love her unconditionally.
  108. Make her an album of the songs that reminds you of her.
  109. Never lead her on if you know nothing’s going to happen.
  110. Never answer the “Does this make me look fat?” question.  It’s a trick.
  111. If you love her, never let her slip away.
  112. Your warmth soothes her heart.
  113. When going out, don’t ask her what she wants to do, take charge and decide.
  114. Smile and laugh at her jokes, even if they aren’t funny.
  115. If you don’t have time for her, make time for her.
  116. Always be available for her.
  117. If you love her, tell her before it’s too late.
  118. Never forget an anniversary.
  119. When you’re around her, always make her feel like you’re her first and last.
  120. It’s the little compliments that means a lot to her.
  121. Show her off in front of your or her friends.
  122. When she’s tired, carry her.
  123. Never accuse.
  124. Do it because you want to, not because you want something back in return.
  125. Actions speak louder than words.
  126. Have those I-love-you-more-fights.  She thinks it’s cute.
  127. Don’t say “whatever” when you are arguing.  It’ll make her more mad.
  128. Never blame her for your mistakes.
  129. She loves that cute smirk.  Promise.
  130. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
  131. No more bro’s before ho’s.  Well respected women, before bro’s.
  132. Don’t go anywhere without kissing her goodbye.
  133. Hold the door for every girl, attractive or not.
  134. Try to write a song for her, even if you’re not musically inclined.  She’ll love it no matter what.
  135. Text her good morning to have her day start with a smile.
  136. She comes first.  Always.
  137. Never let her forget how much she means to you.
  138. Never let her fall asleep waiting for your call.
  139. Her “nothing” is always something.
  140. Never tell a girl she doesn’t understand.  Ever.  Chances are, she does.
  141. Forehead kisses.
  142. Have a day for just you and her, she loves the one on one time.
  143. Have tickle fights with her.  But let her win.
  144. Dance with her even when there’s no music on.
  145. Stay up, even if you are tired to talk or chat with her.
  146. Never give her a reason to doubt your feelings for her.
  147. Never reject her kisses or hugs.
  148. Don’t text or call her just because you’re bored.
  149. Kiss her spontaneously in the middle of her sentence.
  150. Love her for who she is, not for who you want her to be.
  151. When she pushes you away, pull her in closer.
  152. Call her love.  It sounds classy.
  153. Tuck her hair behind her ear.
  154. Never compare her with your ex-girlfriends.  She is incomparable.
  155. Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
  156. If you fall in love with her, tell her.  Just be prepared to catch her.
  157. In the middle of a hug, squeeze her a little harder.  She’ll love it.  Promise.
  158. A gentleman always cheers for his hometown team.  Win or lose.
  159. A gentleman respects every women in his life.  If you can’t respect your own mother, forget about respecting your girlfriend.
  160. Stupid lame jokes; awkwardly adorable moments.
  161. A gentleman always thinks before he says.
  162. A gentleman is never rude.
  163. A gentleman never breaks a promise.
  164. Don’t try to out dress a woman.  She should be the center of attention and should not feel that she’s under dressed. 
  165. A gentleman always dresses well.
  166. Don’t just talk the talk.
  167. Look people in the eyes when you greet them and shake their hand.
  168. Never cut someone off.
  169. If you’re trying to have a relationship, let the woman know.  If you’re not, and you’re just trying to hit, let them know that, too.
  170. Open doors.  Pull out chairs.  Let her order first.  Simple manners.
  171. No, she doesn’t look fat in that dress.  Yes, even if she does.
  172. Give girls a little extra respect.
  173. Secret rooftop meetings never gets old.
  174. Calling her “baby” will make her melt every time.  Promise.
  175. When listening to the radio, if a love song comes on, squeeze her hand tighter.
  176. Your girlfriend is not the prettiest of them all, because in your eyes, she should be the only one who is pretty.
  177. A gentleman never hits a girl, ever.
  178. Confidence is sexy.  Cockiness is not.
  179. Hold her while she cries, nothing feels better.
  180. When hugging her, lift her off her feet and spin her around.  She’ll love it.
  181. Always maintain eye contact.  It lets her know that you are only paying attention to her.
  182. If you make her bite her lip, know that you’re doing a damn good job at whatever you’re doing.
  183. Hold her tight, she won’t want you to let go.
  184. Make holding her hand too tight be the only way you can hurt her.
  185. Kisses aren’t everything; never underestimate the power of a good hug.
  186. Play with her fingers, she loves the way your hand touches hers.
  187. Grand gestures and complementing the little things aren’t opposites.  Do both.
  188. Don’t tell her your love is forever unless you have no doubt it is.
  189. Tell her all your sweet memories together.  She’ll be smiling all day long knowing that you remember every single moment you’re together.
  190. If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy; if she’s easy, she won’t be amazing; if she’s worth it, you won’t give up; if you give up, you’re not worthy enough.
  191. A man’s biggest mistake is giving another man an opportunity to make his woman smile.  If you love her, you shouldn’t be giving any guy that chance.  It should be you making her smile.
  192. Every gentleman should have at least one suit in his closet.
  193. Good looks is just a bonus if you have a great personality.
  194. If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took every ounce of courage in her to say that.  Idiot, don’t take her for granted.
  195. A gentleman should always have one good watch on his wrist.  It’s a mark of character and dignity.
  196. Gentlemen, wear a belt.  It’s called underwear for a reason.
  197. Being open-minded and aware of the world around you shows class and sophistication, but avoid seeming pretentious by being modest instead of showing off what you know.
  198. Don’t ask about the last guy she was with.  Being competitive is a young man’s game.
  199. Avoid public fights with your woman.  Keep things private to let her know there’s an exclusive world that you and her share.
  200. Avoid unnecessary use of expletives in public, especially in the presence of a woman you’re trying to impress.
  201. If you want to leave her, leave her breathless.  If you want to lie, lie next to her.  If you want to let go, let go of your pride and pursue her.
  202. Boasting about your intelligence isn’t attractive, neither is downplaying it.
  203. Always keep the balance between obsession and apathy.  Make her feel important but give her some space when she needs it.
  204. Gentlemen, be aware that the line between confidence and arrogance is extremely thin.
  205. Every girl wants that feeling of being wanted and belonged to.  So gentlemen, give it to her.  Give her your undivided attention, the best that you can give and offer her, and the best of the best that you know she deserves.
  206. Always kiss your lady’s hand.  It will make her feel like a queen.
  207. Apologize.  You are not degrading yourself, you are showing that you care for that person’s feelings.
  208. Don’t tell her you love her unless you really mean it.  She might do something crazy, like believe it.
  209. Nice guys finish last because they put their ladies first.
  210. Don’t waste time looking for all the wrong ones, when you already have the right one.
  211. Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply.  If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.  If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.  So, if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.
  212. Chivalry is very much alive.  Just because a girl acts like she doesn’t care for those small things, inside she’s really looking for it.
  213. Don’t bring up how many girls you’ve been with; it will not make you look better nor will it impress her.
  214. Tell her nobody’s perfect, but she is as perfect as they come.
  215. Allow your lady to walk ahead of you, not all over you.
  216. Don’t tell her you love her if you have another girl by your side.
  217. A girl’s dream is to own something that belongs to you.  When she has that, she feels extra close to you.
  218. If you feel as if you’d die for her, live in such a way that she would know that.
  219. Go ahead, take a punch for her, give one if necessary, just make sure she wasn’t the one that got hurt.
  220. Sometimes you shouldn’t have to ask how she’s doing.  Read the signs: look into her eyes.
  221. Remember, whenever she finishes a sentence with “I’ve never told anyone that before,” make sure to never forget.
  222. Real men never stop trying to show a girl how much she means to him, even after he’s got her.
  223. Kiss her nose.
  224. Give her something to tell her friends about.
  225. A gentleman doesn’t need to hit a woman to feel like a “man”.  After all he is a gentle man.
  226. If she worries about you, it just means she cares.  But when she stops caring, that’s when you should be worried.
  227. When she starts to let go during a hug, pull her even closer and hug her even tighter.
  228. Just because she has dated douchebags doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance for a nice guy.
  229. Don’t flip out when your girlfriend wonders who you’re with or what you’re doing.  It means she cares and she’s actually afraid to lose you to someone else.
  230. Don’t date the most beautiful girl in the world, date the girl who makes your world the most beautiful.
  231. Spill your heart out to her; if she loves you she’ll love to listen.
  232. A boy makes his girl jealous of other women.  A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.
  233. A true gentleman should never take advantage of any lady.
  234. When you’re holding  hands, squeeze hers from time to time.  it will surely make her look at you and smile.
  235. When she rubs her arms with both her hands, it’s another sign of saying, “Hug me, make me warm.”
  236. Anyone can be heroic from time to time, but a gentleman is something you have to be all the time.
  237. Remember: she loves you for you.  So don’t try to go around changing yourself just to impress her.
  238. When you say ‘I love you’, say it in a way she’ll want to hear it.  Look her in the eyes; grasp her hand; and lean close to her, so she knows you’re truly serious.
  239. If you aren’t treating her right, don’t be mad when somebody else does.
  240. Never ever make a girl feel anything less than perfect.
  241. A gentleman never lies to his woman.  Ever.
  242. A gentleman should always give up his seat for the elderly.
  243. You came from a woman.  So, you have no right to disrespect one.
  244. Hold her when she’s crying and tell her that everything’s going to be okay.
  245. A gentleman can recognize it when he loses a fight.  Know the difference between standing up for yourself and being a fool.
  246. There are so many fish in the sea.  Do not settle until you have found your mermaid.
  247. A gentleman only lies to his woman if it involves surprising her.
  248. If you break up with her, check up on her every once in a while to make sure she’s alright.
  249. A gentleman admits when he’s wrong, and stands his ground when he is right.
  250. A gentleman respects a woman’s boundaries.
  251. Fall in love with her flaws.  Everything else will be a plus.
  252. It doesn’t matter how many fights you two may get into.  If you truly do love her, it should never matter.  Ever.
  253. Honesty.  She’ll respect you even more.
  254. Be the one who stays by her side and protects her.  Especially when no one else does.
  255. Tell her she’s beautiful everyday.  You don’t know how much that will mean to her.
  256. A gentleman doesn’t just tell his lady he loves her, he shows it.
  257. A lady just wants you to be a well-mannered gentleman that treats others right.
  258. A gentleman is always a gentleman and nothing less.
  259. Before speaking your concerns, give them thought, then do so appropriately.
  260. “I love you” means nothing if you don’t sincerely mean it.
  261. Respect people’s feelings.  Even if it does not mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them.
  262. Pretty and sexy is not the same as beautiful.
  263. She deserves the best.  Even if you’re not meant to be the man to give it to her.
  264. A kiss is nothing unless it is backed up by feelings for her.
  265. Chivalry never died, the gentleman in you did.
  266. A good gentleman treats his mother like a queen and treats you the same.
  267. Just because you’ve stopped talking to each other doesn’t mean you’re not on her mind.
  268. Don’t make her feel special when she’s actually not.  Avoid false hopes.
  269. If she’s responsible for your smile, then be responsible with her heart.
  270. A true man’s heart knows no distance.
  271. Never, ever give her a reason to feel threatened by another woman.
  272. A good gentleman is smart, but a great gentleman is well-educated.
  273. Remember: she has a past too.  Don’t hold it against her.
  274. You need to have your favorite song.  The one that reminds you how it all began.  Make sure she never forgets it.
  275. Never make her stay up all night waiting for your call, and have to realize late at night that you aren’t going to call.
  276. Don’t underestimate the power of a hug.  It can turn her day around.
  277. If she leans against you, hug her.  She wants to be held.
  278. Calm, cool and composed.  All characteristics a gentleman possesses.
  279. If you love her, remember that on the bad days.
  280. Chivalry will never run out of style.
  281. Men are supposed to lead, not lead on.
  282. Never miss a chance to tell her you love her because you never know when it’ll be your last.
  283. Being male is a matter of birth.  Being a man is a matter of age.  But, being a gentleman is a matter of choice.
  284. Hold her tight, kiss her harder and love her more as everyday goes by.
  285. A gentleman never pursues an already taken woman.
  286. Good morning texts.
  287. Be a lady’s man, not a ladies man.
  288. Chivalry is a beautiful, genuine thing.  It will never die.
  289. Make her your everything in front of everyone, every time.
  290. The acknowledgement of a gentleman is found through his actions and the word in which he gives.
  291. Ladies first.
  292. She chose to be with you, don’t test her.
  293. An already taken gentleman, never pursues another woman.
  294. A gentleman never has to tell anyone he is a gentleman.
  295. Love her through life, through death, and even after that.
  296. Never make a promise you can’t keep.
  297. Don’t ever hold anything against her, especially her mistakes.
  298. A gentleman knows that if it ever comes to that, he can let go of her, but he will never forget her.
  299. A gentleman knows when to call her sexy, and when to let her know she’s beautiful.
  300. Spending time with your lady is all well and good, but a gentleman never forgets his friends.
  301. Chivalry and respect are as natural to a gentleman as breathing.  They should not require effort.
  302. Trust will make or break your relationship.
  303. A real gentleman doesn’t have to under your shirt to get a better view of your heart.
  304. Treat every woman the way you’d want your daughter to be treated.
  305. A gentleman knows that it takes what won her, to keep her.
  306. A gentleman should not abuse power, but they shouldn’t forget that they have it.
  307. Practice what you preach.  It’s as simple as that.
  308. By respecting the boundary between being close friends and flirting, you’re respecting your lady.
  309. Treat your lady like you treat you Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr.  Give her all your time, love and respect.
  310. It doesn’t have to be her birthday or Valentine’s Day.  Show up at her door with a rose, a blanket, and a picnic table.
  311. A gentleman should not easily let his woman slip his sight.  But he should know her freedom of space.
  312. A gentleman should always treat a girl well, before they are together, and after as well.
  313. Chivalry is the only “wingman” you need.
  314. Add a genuine “how are you” to your greetings and an “I’m there for you” to your goodbyes.
  315. If you care about her, chase after her.
  316. A gentleman shouldn’t strive to make his girl jealous, but to make others jealous of his girl.
  317. Just show her that you care.
  318. A gentleman must know how to take care of himself as well.
  319. Don’t leave her because of long distance.  The absence makes the heart grow fonder.
  320. The trick to being a gentleman is making her feel like a lady.
  321. Texting her “good morning beautiful” instantly puts her in a good mood.  It lets her know that she is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning.
  322. Be yourself, because by being yourself you could possibly be everything that she needs.
  323. Sometimes she’s just waiting for you to make the first move.
  324. A gentleman never allows himself to come second to another, and knows when he has to move on.
  325. Play games, not ladies.
  326. Always tell the truth.
  327. Love is like a wheel, it has its ups and downs.  But in the end you’ll find out it’s still meant to last forever.
  328. A gentleman should be honest to everyone, including himself, at all times.
  329. A true gentleman will do anything to make his girl happy.
  330. Never talk about past big loves, it will only make her think she needs to live up to it.
  331. Fall for her harder everyday.
  332. A gentleman knows that once you have her, you keep her.
  333. Don’t go to sleep unless everything is okay between you and your lady.
  334. Second chances mean that she loves you too much to leave, don’t do anything to change that.  Return the favor.
  335. A gentleman should tell his lady every night before he goes to sleep just exactly how much she means to him.
  336. Being a gentleman isn’t a form of courtship, it’s a way of life.
  337. The sexiest curve on her body is her smile.
  338. Don’t ever break her trust in any way, because you will never fully gain it back.
  339. Cheating is never okay.  There is no justification for it.  Just don’t.
  340. The way a gentleman treats his mother is a pretty good indicator of how he will treat his lady.
  341. Late night phone conversations is something every girl likes.
  342. If you truly love her, you’d want what’s best for her; whether it includes you or not.
  343. Don’t ever make a lady cry.
  344. Stay calm and be her man.
  345. Don’t settle for someone that doesn’t treat you the best they can.  You always deserve 100% of someone’s love.
  346. Never underestimate a lady’s will power.
  347. Show her that chivalry is not dead.
  348. Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
  349. Saying sorry doesn’t fix the problem.  It’s what you do after that truly counts.
  350. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.  It’s not fair to her.
  351. A real gentleman is well versed when it comes to poetry.
  352. A true gentleman only gives for the sake of giving, never expecting anything in return.
  353. Give her reasons to believe, not doubt.
  354. Simple goodnight and good morning text messages are highly appreciated.
  355. Don’t talk about other girls when you have a girlfriend.  Make her feel like she is your only one, because she should be.
  356. A gentleman attracts the attention of many, but only has eyes for his own lady.
  357. A gentleman always reminds his lady how much she means to him, even though she won’t forget.
  358. The worst thing you could do to a girl is compare her to another girl.
  359. Remind her how beautiful she is, every now and then.
  360. A gentleman knows that it is often the simple gestures that mean the most.
  361. A true gentleman should always trust his woman, because if you were truly in love, there is no reason to think that she’d betray  you.
  362. A true gentleman won’t judge by looks but by heart.
  363. Never date an ex’s best friend; chances are that will ruin their friendship and quite possibly end your new relationship.
  364. Say nice things to her because you mean them, not just because she wants to hear them.

There is nothing more that I enjoy doing than reading books and writing. I'm kind of a nerd like that, XD. I have been writing for 7 years and am the author of the YA novel "Winged: The Awakening" and "Winged: The Unraveling". Also, a YouTuber dealing with video games and gaming.

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2 comments on “The “Rules” Of A Gentleman
  1. Phesoj says:

    It’s nice to see someone try to bring back chivalry into this world.

  2. Chales Dubno says:

    I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a sharp plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne’er-do-wells from whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week, heard the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.

    This needn’t mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his exploits to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true gentleman to omit his lady friend’s name from the discussion of her pussy’s tightness.

    Why, I had assumed that this custom and others like it were universal and well understood, but as long as I am spelling out the Rules of the Gentleman, allow me to introduce several other equally important but oft-neglected guidelines.

    Should a gentleman find himself alone with a lady, he should not simply undo his pants and come in her hole. A gentleman knows that it is good manners to coax his lady friend’s heels as far above her head as they will go, to “split the reed,” and perhaps to turn his lady over and give it to her “doggy style.” A gentleman knows that a true lady enjoys a moderate amount of hair-pulling and ass-grabbing, taking these attentions as marks of affection and virility. However, a gentleman knows where to draw the line. He never lodges his lady friend’s head between the couch cushions.

    A gentleman occasionally will have more than one guest at his home. Should he see that jealousy is breeding between the two ladies whom he is hosting, a gentleman does not say, “Whoa, ladies, there’s enough of me to go around!” The gentleman, valuing decorum and discretion above all else in his paramours, gently guides his guests’ heads from his penis and informs them that if they do not act like ladies, he will have to ask them both to leave.

    When up to his nuts in a lady’s guts, a gentleman knows that it is quite impolite to smoke, talk politics, or take phone calls. Should his cell phone ring, the gentleman says, “Excuse me, I need to take this.” He withdraws his penis from his lady friend and keeps his phone conversation brief. When he has completed his call, a gentleman gently reinserts his dick into his lady.

    Of course, a gentleman who is not a smoker keeps an ashtray on his balcony for his lady friends who wish to smoke.

    It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid lady of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to “get his money’s worth.”

    A gentleman knows that accidents happen. While it is an unfortunate and boorish behavior that should be kept to a minimum, a gentleman always apologizes to a lady after he mistakenly shoots his load inside of her.

    A gentleman never comes in a lady’s eyes.

    While he knows that a lady gets pleasure out of pleasuring him, and he will occasionally increase the intensity of that pleasure by gentle force, a gentleman will never choke a woman on his cock.

    If a gentleman wishes to attend to a lady’s pleasure through oral manipulation, no matter what the state of affairs below, he always politely completes his task. A gentleman ought never to fan his hand in the air, grimace and make a show of removing a pubic hair from his teeth, or compare his lady friend’s vulva to two strips of partially grilled fajita meat.

    A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that she should like to freshen up after eating his ass.

    Breeding needn’t amount to priggishness. On the contrary, a gentleman knows that good old-fashioned manners will likely increase his social engagements, once word gets out that he is not one to splooge and tell. But I beg the reader, for the sake of tradition and all that is decent, to remember that a true gentleman does not ever, under any circumstances, go ass to mouth.

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